While reading the Vulture article and accidentally reading what he allegedly said in his voice. A habit of mine, I'll admit. It being "liquid sex" and all. I have found some strong runners-up on Literotica, though...
Somewhere, somehow, something happened involving a penis and it just...triggered me. I will admit that in my youth I was a frisky vixen. I looked good, and I could get myself to feel good. So it wasn't surprising that my first boyfriend and I would be on the fast track to pound town. But, and this was weird, and I totally didn't remember it until we reconnected again in our 40s. When he, you know, whipped it out, I cried. Like, full-on meltdown. I don't think whatever happened to me would have been enough to cause such a reaction on its own. But I grew up Mormon, so...that's a whole other boatload of trauma to unload. Anyway, he was actually really sweet about it, and we remained friends even as our romantic relationship soured and he proceeded to date the girl that I had had my first physical attraction to. With Jen, it was an emotional and intellectual desire. With Cat, it was physical and ethereal. She was just so cool. And her family was cool. I didn't know Mormons could be cool. I also didn't realize as a 10-year-old that money goes a long way in the pursuit of coolness. But it went beyond that with Cat. She introduced me to the scifi subculture. I started watching the X-Files. The first really big disagreement I got in with my parents was over it. She introduced me to music: The Beatles and The Beach Boys, Pink Floyd and The Doors. We listened to vinyl in their music room and we both played the flute. We had a little duo for a while. But, again, another boatload of trauma I'm not ready to unpack yet.
The next penis I saw might have been a serial killer. I don't know. He was working in HR at Disneyland. I desperately wanted to work at Disneyland. It was a dream. And I had received a scholarship to...no. This is not the time to tell this story. Back to the article.
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