The Mask is Off, Bitch: The Brutal Reality of Living Authentically in a Post-Capitalist World

 What a fucking TITAN of a title, bitch! This post obviously is still in its gestation. Carry on.

Sit on It

 So, I'm starting a new job, and it's kind of stressful. But I'm prepared for this now. I have a system. When I get stressed.

I do nothing.

I have found that it is the first step to becoming resilient. When I think back on all of the really bad fuckups in my life (and I've had quite a few), I have to admit that the actions were done out of fear. The urge to survive becomes so great, that I lose track of my thinking mind. When you're stressed or your adrenaline is activated, cortisol is released to keep your mind on high alert. It floods the brain with red-letter messages of preparedness. The problem is it gets too noisy for the wise or even the thinking mind to operate smoothly. 

When I was a teacher, I studied how the brain functions, especially when learning. And one thing is clear: the brain learns best when it feels safe - no perception of danger or the need for self-preservation. By extension, we could say that the brain functions better when it feels safe. We perform better when we feel safe. 

So, if your brain is on high alert due to stress or trauma, you aren't thinking clearly. In those moments, it can be hard to remember that you are behind the wheel of your own life, and any decisions you make will be yours to own. It reminds me of an undertow, or a rip current. The best way to survive one is to avoid them. But, as recent public tragedy would suggest, they are still very much a threat. The second-best way to survive is by swimming parallel to the shore an outside of the undertow's flow. 

The problem is, when people get caught in a rip current, they panic. And a panicking mind can force the body into dangerous situations. In this case, they try to swim against the current, get exhausted, and drown. The best thing you can do when you feel that pull is to do nothing until you can determine where the shore is. At that point, you can swim out of the current. Of course, doing nothing when you're caught in an external current is scary.

Focus on the basics: breathing and safety. The current will subside. You will get your bearings again. And you can plan your escape.

For some of us humans, doing nothing is the hardest part.

What Do You Want to Learn Today?

 A very serious case can be made for the need to shift education (especially at the secondary level) to a more student-directed pedagogy. The goal of course is the help train adolescent minds to think in a way that adds value to life in the 21st century as it moves from an industrial to informational economy. 

Virtual agile education.

Seeing the Face of Jesus in a Norm MacDonald Sketch

It's probably because I'm a little bit high, but I just had a spiritual experience. I'm watching Season 20 of SNL, which is arguably the worst season after the Weird Year. Right off the bat, you can feel the tension: sketches don't seem to work between the new players and the veterans, including the "Bad Boys of SNL.;" the vibe is off. The writing is weaker than usual. There's a lot going on, and it shows. SNL is at its best when the ensemble flows as well as the crew has to be in order to put on a live 90-minute show every week. Apparently, there was a lot of drama backstage, as you can read in this 1995 New York Magazine article. 

One of the few bright spots is Norm MacDonald who I could watch eating a cheese sandwich and find it entertaining. Also? Can we talk about just how HOT the young Norm actually is? Woof. Anyway. I will say that for a long time, I was decidedly not a fan of his humor. I loved his voice acting since I'm a fan of Seth MacFarlane, a frequent collaborator with MacDonald. But whenever Soren would try to get me to watch his standup, I never found it funny. But he was obsessed. There was a period of time after he died where Soren would listen to hour-long marathons of Norm MacDonald to fall asleep. I couldn't get into it. I thought it was too mean. There was definitely a gap in generations there, but my aversion ran deeper than that. And, as you can probably guess from my outburst of affection above, it was misaligned. I have obviously been won over to his charm. 

A piece of "fake news" that Norm reported on was the Shroud of Turin, another mystery that has alluded me for years. My father-in-law was obsessed. He had a six-foot framed replica above the door to his office. He would give lectures at the parish and in the community. I have a healthy skepticism of most empirical studies "supporting" mystical phenomena. I could never really see Jesus' face the way some of my more devout brothers and sisters do. Until now. As I was "getting it," I could also see it.

I Am Writing a Book

 Working title: Agile ELLI: 21st Century English Language and Literacy Instruction

It's a manual/survival guide for teachers on the front line of education: public k12 educators, teachers of English Language Learners, teachers of students with disabilities, homeschooling parents, private tutors, etc. As a subject matter expert, my focus is primarily ELA instruction, but my thesis is that special populations (underfunded, underresourced, underappreciated) need to rely on multidisciplinary structures to survive.

Who I'm Writing it for: First and foremost, this book is for myself. I ground through 10 years of public school instruction just so I could clear my credential and be considered a "real" teacher. Newsflash: I was a "real" teacher the moment I truly cried for my students. I'm not talking about the tears of frustration. I'm talking about the tears that come from seeing the connection between teacher and student. 

This is written for the teachers on the front lines of education who don't feel like a real teacher. You are! This book is written for those who are reassessing what it means for them to be a teacher in America right now. Gain insights into decades and centuries of academic discourse on the nature of knowledge, how students learn, what teachers do, and how all of those things are effected by our beliefs as individual teachers and society as a whole. 

I'm looking for teachers who are searching for a clan. Digital caves where we can share stories around a campfire. And then, eventually, taking the light out of the cave and sharing it with our students and colleagues. With teacher burnout at an all-time high, I think it is absolutely necessary for all educators to take a step back and reassess what it means to be a teacher, and what our role should be in 21st century schools.

Sir Ken Robinson once said that "education doesn't need to be reformed, it needs to be transformed." This book is an attempt to transform the hearts and minds of educators in the face of seemingly insurmountable challenges and overwhelming circumstances.

Analogic Meaning is Rooted in the Heart

 I think I'm still processing the Trump election. I feel like 2024 was a crucial point in history. It was a true struggle of wills. And dominance won again. The political landscape of my entire adult life has been the weak being dominated by the strong. And then, I discover that I was buying into yet another narrative, like all the other narratives I would cling to.  Obama was the first president I voted for after Ralph Nader in 2000. My first political heartbreak.

So now, I'm watching SNL: my political landscape through a comedic lens. Hillary Clinton is about to beat Bernie Sanders. And here's the kicker: I really liked what Bernie Sanders had to say. So when he lost, it was an easy narrative to jump from poor to female. It was a rough time for my family and I. Soren was trudging through his own thoughts, the kids were having a hard time adjusting to school after being uprooted from their early childhood in Florida. I was just trying to keep it together: I was clinging desperately to the idea that I was a teacher. 

I'm watching Amy Schumer host, a comedian I spent years hating because everyone 'safe' hated her. I saw her after my awakening. Somehow, I ended up watching her documentary and loved it. She taught me that trauma can be funny.

Hence, my little experiment. I had to sweeten the deal with a Bill Hader marathon. That's how I discovered the Stefon Myers saga.

The title doesn't really match up. I have this idea for a book, but it turned into something else. I'm pretty sure it has to do with my current binge project: SNL in order of seasons in my life.

I Reserve the Right to Decompress

 Yes, I fully intend to roll my eyes during the last half of the meeting

then go home, smoke weed, and watch the entire Stefon SNL saga

I give and I give and I give 

when I teach

I need to come home and recharge.

I don't have time for 

my babies

my baby.

even my IAM 

When I teach

I feel like a conduit

stretched thin as I cover the multiple lines etched over sand

 by the sharp pebbles that cut my feet and wash away the day's

 work and present new patterns across the shore in an intricate web of thoughts,

 feelings, wills, goals, beliefs, hopes, dreams, kids, jobs, stress, bills, wages,

 earnings, taxes, fears, detainment, deportment, separation, divorce,

 court appearances, jail time, deaths, births, hospital visits, 

 

life

Okay, I got caught up in the structure and devolved into mayhem. But, seriously. I NEED to find a job that involves less people. I need to own something.