So, I'm starting a new job, and it's kind of stressful. But I'm prepared for this now. I have a system. When I get stressed.
I do nothing.
I have found that it is the first step to becoming resilient. When I think back on all of the really bad fuckups in my life (and I've had quite a few), I have to admit that the actions were done out of fear. The urge to survive becomes so great, that I lose track of my thinking mind. When you're stressed or your adrenaline is activated, cortisol is released to keep your mind on high alert. It floods the brain with red-letter messages of preparedness. The problem is it gets too noisy for the wise or even the thinking mind to operate smoothly.
When I was a teacher, I studied how the brain functions, especially when learning. And one thing is clear: the brain learns best when it feels safe - no perception of danger or the need for self-preservation. By extension, we could say that the brain functions better when it feels safe. We perform better when we feel safe.
So, if your brain is on high alert due to stress or trauma, you aren't thinking clearly. In those moments, it can be hard to remember that you are behind the wheel of your own life, and any decisions you make will be yours to own. It reminds me of an undertow, or a rip current. The best way to survive one is to avoid them. But, as recent public tragedy would suggest, they are still very much a threat. The second-best way to survive is by swimming parallel to the shore an outside of the undertow's flow.
The problem is, when people get caught in a rip current, they panic. And a panicking mind can force the body into dangerous situations. In this case, they try to swim against the current, get exhausted, and drown. The best thing you can do when you feel that pull is to do nothing until you can determine where the shore is. At that point, you can swim out of the current. Of course, doing nothing when you're caught in an external current is scary.
Focus on the basics: breathing and safety. The current will subside. You will get your bearings again. And you can plan your escape.
For some of us humans, doing nothing is the hardest part.
